What Matters Most

So I have been following this blog over the last few weeks.  I made the mistake of pulling it up today at work, and literally sobbed at my desk while I read this newest post.  As a mother, I cannot imagine the agony of losing one of my babies, especially this way.  Ronan was the same age Austin is and I couldn't help but picture him as I followed this mother's struggle.

The last month has also been a sad one for alot of people at work.  Two of my associates have lost their wives to cancer after long battles - one couple not much older than Brian and I, who had been highschool sweethearts, and the other  married for 40+ years.  Another associate lost his 19 year old daughter in a car wreck just days after she graduated and got her first job. 

Rich, who lost his wife to breast cancer, came to see me a few days after she died.  I sat and cried with him as he told me about her last hours and how he was with her til the end, holding her hand until she simply stopped breathing.   I spent time with TC, whose wife finally succumbed to a brain tumor, as he made insurance decisions and had to say the words out loud "now that she's gone".  And I talked to Jim just hours after his daughters death, when he could barely maintain composure enough to tell me he had to miss work for a few weeks to travel to Alabama and make arrangements for his now motherless 2 year old grandson.

I am not emotionally cut out to be a grief counselor.  It is one of the parts of my job that I have the hardest time with.  That being said, I also don't know why I read blogs like RockstarRonan.  I know it is going to tear me up, especially when it deals with childen and suffering.  But, when I posed that question to my friend Jennifer, she gave me an answer that hit home: "It helps us remember that we don't really have it so bad".  The family of that poor little boy seemed to have it all on the outside: money, prestige, celebrity friendships, but in the end it couldn't give them what mattered most - the life of their little boy.

When it comes right down to it, my cup runneth over.  Times like this are a good wake up call for me, a reminder that even though it seems like there is never enough money in the bank, time in the day, or relief from the struggles, I am rich beyond measure when it comes to what matters most.  I have three wonderful, beautiful, amazing, smart, HEALTHY children that I adore beyond expression.  I have a husband who I love, who loves me, and who has always made me feel more at home in my own skin than anyone ever has.   Most importantly, I have the sure knowledge that they are mine forever, regardless or what this life may hold for us.  That is something that is priceless, and no amount of money, fame or fortune could replace.

After you read this, squeeze your kids a little tighter, kiss your spouse a little longer, and get down on your knees and pray just a little more fervently than you usually do, to thank our Heavenly Father for all His gifts.  I know I am going to.